How to Online Date Like a Professional

At this point in my life, I am a professional online dater. I wanted to help all of the other singles out there find their true potential, so I have compiled a list of steps on how to online date.

• Create a profile. Don’t forget this part. Without it, you can’t continue.
• One of the most important things people forget to do, is to add a picture, In your description don’t be afraid to be honest about the number of cats you have. Don’t forget to add as many of those little quirks that make you special as you can remember.
• Now the real fun begins. Sit and wait for the next 20 minutes for the first person to message you. Panic over it, and then delete it. Feel the panic subside. You did great! You don’t want to be with someone who is that eager to message the new blood, so you have just dogged your first bullet my friend.
• This first week is crucial. You’ll probably get anywhere from one to twenty five messages. Panic over ALL of them. Reply to the ones that interest you, but do not send anyone nudes. You are classier than that. Make sure you emphasize your cats, and those interesting quirks.
• Week two you probably won’t have anyone messaging you back from last week. Don’t panic, this is perfectly normal. They were just the practice round.
• By week three and four, if you stick with it for this long, you’ll probably get a date. Panic, but go on it. Give a family member or friend a photo of your date, his facebook profile, his phone number (assuming you have it), the time, and the location of your date. Ask them to sit in a corner table alone and watch for any sneaky business.
• The morning after your date, make sure you text your date to let them know how much fun you’ve had. If they don’t reply within 5 minutes, panic. Make sure they are okay by asking them personal questions about you.
• Panic. Delete your profile, your dates number, the messages. Delete EVERYTHING.

I really don’t know why I even try anymore. Tell me a story about any past online dating you’ve done. Do you wish you would have had my advice before you started? Check out my OOTD posts to find that perfect first date outfit!