I Am A Fan: OUAT

This is what I usually look like when I watch Once Upon A Time on ABC. I am seriously losing it, always. Hook is my favorite, Regina is brilliant, and Pans crazy eyes never cease to amuse me.

Did you know Charming was in Thor? I saw it for the first time this weekend, in preparation for the new Thor movie. Turns out he’s not in the new one though. When I pointed it out to my friend during the movie (yes, I am that person) she told me it was actually one of my favorite people on earth. CHUCK! Better known by his actual name, Zachary Levi. Before I could fan girl properly she shushed me. I should point out that he was made blonde, with a gotee, and fake British accent. The thing is, last time I unexpectedly saw him in a movie I screamed “CHUCK!” and instantly covered my mouth. I think I frightened one or more children in the theater watching the chipmunk movie, so I completely understood her preemptive shush. I just can’t control my excitement sometimes. I might have a thing for guys with dark hair and a bit of charm.

Speaking of, Hook was beautiful last night. As much as I could care less that he ends up with Emma, his confidence that she was going to pick him over Neil was definitely swoon worthy. I love that at the end Emma made her decision and (spoiler alert) she didn’t chose either. She’s definitely a woman after my own heart. She didn’t appreciate the games. The writers did good.

Also, Thor was really, very good. I personally feel I might need some more Loki in my life quite honestly.

Kid Opinion: Halloween Costumes Part 1

After school gets out, I work with a 10 year old boy. Mostly on school work, but also sometimes on his favorite video game of the week. When I talk about “the kid,” he is who I’m referring to. He’s a mess, a butt head, but despite his best efforts, I love him completely. I love asking for his opinion, because for a child, he has way more than I ever remember having. This is part 1 of our Halloween together.

I was asked what I was dressing up as, and I replied “A zebra.”
“Oh no! That is SOOO embarrassing! You cannot dress up like a zebra!”

“Why not?!”

“Because that’s a baby costume, and I will not go trick or treating with you if you’re dressed like that!”

I shrugged and replied, “I guess we won’t be trick or treating then.”

Life with this kid is always a power struggle. So obviously I came dressed as a the zebra I promised.

Kid Opinion: Halloween Costumes Part 2

To find out how I became a “boy zebra” for halloween click here.

I am a boy zebra. Obviously.

To be clear, the child in this story is not mine. I clarify, because I don’t have children. This means I don’t have any idea how to properly interact with them.

Unfortunately, no matter what I did to my Halloween costume, he didn’t feel the need to put up a fight. Unfortunately because I think dragging a child out of his home to trick or treat is a more compelling story.

In the brain of a ten year old, being Super Mario is a “grown up” costume, and being a zebra, is a “baby costume.” Being a zebra makes me the lamest of lame. As we walked downtown he had a comment for everyones costumes, and a stink eye for all other Marios. And then there was Julia.
She was so excited to see him, though I suspect it was because seeing a classmate outside of class is shocking for children. They still haven’t quite grasped that other people don’t just disappear from the planet after school is out.
The kid being the ever eager human he is waved like a maniac and said hello.
When she was out of ear shot he said,
“Pft. A bumblebee. Typical Julia.”
“What’s wrong with a bumblebee?!” I mock offence to most everything he says these days. It keeps things interesting.
“It’s just so kidish. It’s such a- a girls costume.” We’ve had multiple conversations about how girls are just as awesome as boys, and about being nice. I’m trying so hard to get him to consider others in his thought process. I don’t know I’m succeeding though.
“What makes Mario such a grown up costume?”
“The mustache.” And he points to the dollar store purchased, eyelash glue stuck, catipiler looking mess on his upper lip. The same mess I still have attached to my upper lip.
“So Marios a grown-up boy costume, and a zebra, like the bumblebee, is alittle kid, girly costume?”
“Yes.”
“But I have a mustache! I am a BOY zebra. Doesn’t that make mine grown-up and even more of a boy costume too?”
He squinted his eyes, shook his head, and simply said, “No.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about kid, I look cool.”

I’m not sure he even heard me. Before I could finish, he was already headed down the path to the next doorbell.

Whatever kid. What. Ever.

A Day in the Life of my Hair

My hair and I have always been close. It’s never been good at doing what I wanted, which is probably why it’s on my head. “I do what I want!” is a motto we share. It’s nice to know that it’s fabulous no matter what it decides to do.
This is a day in the life of my hair.

First of all, here I am trying to take a hallway selfie of my snake skin patterned dress. I love this dress. I have it in 3 colors, but I digress. My hair wasn’t being fun so I contained it with braids.

I love my hair in braids and a poof. I don’t think my hair appreciated being tied down though, because when I went swimming it freed itself from its bonds. Me not being partial to the bonds of oppression, I let it go free.

Oh the beauty of the glasses glare. The hair here is doing what it wants. Then with the windows down, and the wind acting as my blow-dryer, I end up with…

Tada! Wavy/ curly hair, that in all of my years of life, can not figure out how to make my hair do without sticking my head out of the car window like a puppy.

 

I have threatened multiple times to change my relationship status on Facebook to “In a Relationship with My Hair”, but honestly, “It’s complicated” would probably be a more accurate fit.

 

What’s your favorite thing about your hair?

 

Kim, Kanye and My New Skirt

I This skirt is likely to bring all the boys to the yard. You might remember this bathroom from this post about bathroom selfies. It’s my mirror of choice.

Sometimes I wonder how Kanye surprised Kim with a camera crew, marching band, an empty stadium, and all of her family and friend when he proposed. Are we really expected to believe she didn’t know?

I wonder if Ray J will be invited to the wedding. He’s always seemed like a nice young man.

Related articles

• Kanye West: I Will Televise My Wedding If The Money Is Attractive (naijaignite.wordpress.com)
• Whatever Kanye wants, says Kim (iol.co.za)

I’m a Lumberjack and I’m Okay

Look! A bathroom selfie! This time I have found myself in the wonderful land of Subway! They know how to eat fresh here, let me tell you. The BLT I ate was just as killer as my outfit. BOOM!

Bathroom Selfies

I spend a lot of time wondering if bathroom selfies are the way of the future. I’d really like to frame my cuter one’s to display around my home, but I don’t think my roommate appreciates the art of selfies.

I would like to send a special thanks to Target for their clearance section. I don’t know what I would do if my life didn’t include this dress with pockets. Also, their section of colored tights are my new drug of choice.

What do you think of bathroom selfies?

How to Online Date Like a Professional

At this point in my life, I am a professional online dater. I wanted to help all of the other singles out there find their true potential, so I have compiled a list of steps on how to online date.

• Create a profile. Don’t forget this part. Without it, you can’t continue.
• One of the most important things people forget to do, is to add a picture, In your description don’t be afraid to be honest about the number of cats you have. Don’t forget to add as many of those little quirks that make you special as you can remember.
• Now the real fun begins. Sit and wait for the next 20 minutes for the first person to message you. Panic over it, and then delete it. Feel the panic subside. You did great! You don’t want to be with someone who is that eager to message the new blood, so you have just dogged your first bullet my friend.
• This first week is crucial. You’ll probably get anywhere from one to twenty five messages. Panic over ALL of them. Reply to the ones that interest you, but do not send anyone nudes. You are classier than that. Make sure you emphasize your cats, and those interesting quirks.
• Week two you probably won’t have anyone messaging you back from last week. Don’t panic, this is perfectly normal. They were just the practice round.
• By week three and four, if you stick with it for this long, you’ll probably get a date. Panic, but go on it. Give a family member or friend a photo of your date, his facebook profile, his phone number (assuming you have it), the time, and the location of your date. Ask them to sit in a corner table alone and watch for any sneaky business.
• The morning after your date, make sure you text your date to let them know how much fun you’ve had. If they don’t reply within 5 minutes, panic. Make sure they are okay by asking them personal questions about you.
• Panic. Delete your profile, your dates number, the messages. Delete EVERYTHING.

I really don’t know why I even try anymore. Tell me a story about any past online dating you’ve done. Do you wish you would have had my advice before you started? Check out my OOTD posts to find that perfect first date outfit!